Comedy Footle: Scallywagga

To a certain extent, I know it's my own fault for watching BBC Three. But in my defence,I thought Being Human was quite good. Nothing, however, could have prepared me for the trite, unoriginal and above all offensive car crash that was Scallywagga.

Maybe I'm saying this with a haze of nostalgia, but the sketch shows of my youth seem to have been quite imaginative. The Mary Whitehouse Experience is forever in my heart for the spectacularly childish History Today; even Absolutely's Gwyneth and Denzil raised a chuckle. But the "kidult comedy" (ugh) had no such inventiveness. A series of totally predictable, badly acted and amusement-free vignettes culminated in a scene so poorly written as to be offensive to women and men.

The scene is that of a young man and woman having a snog and getting down to things. She gets cold feet - she's not ready. Can you have a guess at what he does?

Full marks! Nags her because, of course, all men are so shallow and simple that all they can think about is when their girlfriend is going to give it up. Obviously.

Finally, he gives up and turns to the TV. Top Gear is on (because that's all men watch, and no woman anywhere is interested in it, even though a woman was at the top of the celebrity leader board for ages). Cue the girlfriend leaning forward and suggesting she's ready now, only to be rebuffed because Jez Clarkson is opining on some four-wheeled object of desire.

What have we learned boys and girls? Well, girls are teases, who only want attention when it's denied to them, but they deserve to be ignored if they're going to behave like that. And all men are only interested in sex, cars and television.

Never mind the fact that the channel is pitched to young male and female viewers. The cast is young, too. Is this what they're being brought up to think? If I saw it in the context of an actually funny programme, I'd assume it was lampooning these dated, dull stereotypes, but in the midst of the unmemorable pap it was surrounded by, this scene only stood out because it was offensively stupid as opposed to merely tired.

As if aware of what a substandard offering it was making, BBC Three served up back to back episodes of the buttock-clenchingly hilarious Family Guy right afterwards. Like making the move from Purgatory to Heaven.